She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
