Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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