You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
