is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
These tits shall not be calmed
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
