i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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