We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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