she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
