my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
