Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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