Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
