I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
