Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
