well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
MIDGETS
????
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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