living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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