What a fucking waste of an outfit
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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