you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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