girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize