So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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