and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize