Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
