Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Everyone says I win the strip club
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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