i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
