brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
