Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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