I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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