well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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