What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
