if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
