I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my shit smells like andre
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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