are you still at the devil's house?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
