Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
