David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
