i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
