bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
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