I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize