i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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