If that was your dad, he is hot
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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