Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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