literally had 100 drinks last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize