So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
