there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize