I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
