bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
