And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
