dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
