what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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