That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I skipped work to stalk him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize