If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
