btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
