I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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