I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
