That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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