i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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