I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
