Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
