why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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