How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
