I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have tasted many bathrooms
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Never underestimate the power of titties
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
