Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
