He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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