they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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