I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
